Things I'll never say

This has been going round and round in my head for a really long time. AFS was right, the experience was more about getting to know another culture than just learning another language.
While I was in NZ, I used to stay up until 11pm cause I couldn't sleep. By then, my dad was the only person awake in the house, and we used watch TV and talk until I decided it was getting late (he'd never go to sleep before midnight). Most of the times we didn't talk about anything important, but sometimes the conversation turned out to be really interesting. Now that I'm here, I remember those little chats with affection. He was a person who I secretly admire and I deeply regret not having told him. His way of thinking was so different to mine that I didn't understand it at all (at the beginning): he chose to live on a farm, to raise his kids in town, to marry his first girlfriend... Things I'd never do.
But little by little, I started to know my family and their way of thinking and eventhough sometimes I didn't agree with them, I started to understand them. And I started to love them. I loved the way they were happy if it was sunny, or the way they had fun watching the fireworks, or feeding the calves, or having a barbecue. As simple as this.
And now that I'm here, I regret not having shown them how important they were to me, I wonder why I didn't tell them all this stuff, I guess I didn't realise until some months ago. Anyway, these are things I'll never say.