Not many things to tell, as usual, but I found something to write about and I'd better not postpone it cause I know I'll get lazy later on.
Last week it was Magdalena, our local holidays. I just love them, the town changes completely, heaps of people on the streets any time of the day, lots of things to do. I love it cause Cs is pretty boring during the year, every Saturday looks the same and it feels like monotony has taken the town and the people. That is why during Magdalena people get crazy and become different and friendlier for a week.
Well, I was not in Cs the whole week, I was here just for the weekends, which are pretty much the best days of Magdalena. The rest of the time I went to Genoa to visit my brother (he is there on an Erasmus scholarship) and I loved it! I think it was not because the city was so nice, but because I saw what Erasmus life is like. I stayed at my brother's place with him and his flatmates (three Spanish girls) and some friends of his flatmates (six people) and my parents stayed in a hostel. We went to see the city, which I found beautiful and very singular. It is a very uneven place, the town is built like between a mountain and the sea, so it is full of stairs and alleys that lead you to the most unexpected places. Besides, it was the best time for us to go to a city, visiting it when you have someone who has explored it before to show you around! We were in Genoa for two days, then we went to Cinque Terre (five lovely villages by the sea), Portofino (that would be our Benidorm but without apartments, just little houses by the sea and painted in different and cheerful colours) and Milan (which was a brief visit cause we had to arrive at the hostel quite soon in the afternoon).
I was feeling sick for those days (I always get sick when I spend many days going out) so I stayed at home for a whole day. My brother was like really nice to me while I was there, we usually get on, but I was surprised to see how he took care of me while I was sick. We had some interesting chats about the experience of living abroad, our lives in general and my parents and it was a long time since I had talked to him like that, so easily cause we understand each other, because when he was here we didn't talk so much about this kind of stuff.
Well, going back to Genoa, I got to know my brother's flatmates and they were just so nice! They were studying (well, they enrolled on some classes) different things and doing random stuff during the day. As they are Erasmus students, they do not have many hours of classes, so they have lots of time to travel, party or do whatever they want. Every night, my brother's friends got together at my brother's place and sat there just talking or drinking (if they were going to go out). I left Genoa feeling like going out with them, besides, they were saying all the time: "you can't leave Genoa without going out with us, come back!" and you know, I really wanted to, I wanted to know what an Erasmus party feels like on my very person, cause somehow, I felt that that city had caught me in some way.
Maybe it was because I am looking forward to my Erasmus year or because I am willing to live on my own and have a little of independence from my parents, I don't know, but what I know is that when I'm on my Erasmus year, I'll make the most of it!
Es mostren els missatges amb l'etiqueta de comentaris thoughts. Mostrar tots els missatges
Es mostren els missatges amb l'etiqueta de comentaris thoughts. Mostrar tots els missatges
dilluns, 22 de març del 2010
dimarts, 2 de març del 2010
Do you really want to be elle?
Its title says it all. Elle. She. How a woman must be. Yes, I am talking about the magazine Elle.
Today, I was at my friend's place, I had never been there before, so I was taking a look at the things in her room, it was more or less like I expected it to be, a piano, heaps of books, some pictures... but then something caught my attention. She had some issues of the magazine Elle, something that I did not expect to be there at all. Now don't take me wrong, I'm not going to like her any less just because she reads the magazine (that is what she thought when I told her I was surprised to see that magazine in her room), but it's just that this magazine is horrible. I do not mean horrible because it's a fashion magazine, but because of what it represents. It's a magazine full of stereotypes, it does not only tell you what to wear, but how to be. Its articles (its few articles) are written by women all stressed out by the way they look, their biggest worries are how to make a pumpkin salad or how to have a successful career and be a mother at the same time. The vision of women it gives disgusts me. Always worried about the looks, about make-up, about children, about how their relationship could work out, about high heels and glamour and not about herselves.
Have you ever thought of the word "model"? It means something to be imitated, perfection. I do not think those sad skinny girls are to be imitated. I do not want to be like them, have you ever seen a model's face when he or she is walking down the catwalk? They do not seem happy at all, no wonder why, most of them suffer from eating disorders, nothing to be proud of. It's a sad job.
When I saw the magazine at my friend's place, I didn't feel disappointed, I felt pity, cause if she bought it, it means she cares, and if she cares, it means she feels identified with the magazine content. It makes me feel sad, I can't help it, I don't want my friends to be worried about this kind of stuff, it scares me!
Today, I was at my friend's place, I had never been there before, so I was taking a look at the things in her room, it was more or less like I expected it to be, a piano, heaps of books, some pictures... but then something caught my attention. She had some issues of the magazine Elle, something that I did not expect to be there at all. Now don't take me wrong, I'm not going to like her any less just because she reads the magazine (that is what she thought when I told her I was surprised to see that magazine in her room), but it's just that this magazine is horrible. I do not mean horrible because it's a fashion magazine, but because of what it represents. It's a magazine full of stereotypes, it does not only tell you what to wear, but how to be. Its articles (its few articles) are written by women all stressed out by the way they look, their biggest worries are how to make a pumpkin salad or how to have a successful career and be a mother at the same time. The vision of women it gives disgusts me. Always worried about the looks, about make-up, about children, about how their relationship could work out, about high heels and glamour and not about herselves.
Have you ever thought of the word "model"? It means something to be imitated, perfection. I do not think those sad skinny girls are to be imitated. I do not want to be like them, have you ever seen a model's face when he or she is walking down the catwalk? They do not seem happy at all, no wonder why, most of them suffer from eating disorders, nothing to be proud of. It's a sad job.
When I saw the magazine at my friend's place, I didn't feel disappointed, I felt pity, cause if she bought it, it means she cares, and if she cares, it means she feels identified with the magazine content. It makes me feel sad, I can't help it, I don't want my friends to be worried about this kind of stuff, it scares me!
diumenge, 7 de febrer del 2010
Haere Mai o Aotearoa
When I went to NZ, everyone told me to write a diary. It was something I planned to do anyway, but everyone just kept repeating it. When I arrived there, the first thing my host family gave to me was a diary. 'Our last student didn't use it, so here you have, hope you write your experiences here and keep them forever. You know, most of the students understand what the experience means when they are away, many years later', mum said. What a wise woman.
Last week I read my journal for the first time after I came back, more than a year later. Wow, I did not expect it, but it moved me to tears... Many things I thought I had forgotten came to my mind, all the good things: the trips, the ball, the fireworks, Christmas at the park, the last days in town, the weekend with Anita; and the bad things: how I missed a special person so bad, the uncomfortable relationship with Maija, the days when I was feeling down, saying good-bye to all those people who made my year... but also lots of small things I didn't remember: the play, the national anthem (I can still sing the lyrics), babysitting with Jordan and Riley, my first dream in English (it didn't make much sense, something about a kidnapped guy and his elbow being tied to a sleeping bag), the rugby match, the chess hours, my first good joke in English (this took a looong time), random conversations with people...
All these things were not written in the handbook AFS sent me before leaving. It just said some abstract stuff that I found really interesting then (about life in a farm, about life in town, about school and its subjects, how to behave with the family, the driving license, legal drinking, illegal sex, travelling with people over 21...) but was very general. I'm not saying it was not true, but I think what I saw was different from what the handbook had taught me. Haere Mai o Aotearoa -- Welcome to New Zealand-- was the only thing I remember stayed the same.
But what I really felt when I
was reading my diary was that I really lived the experience, everything seemed so important, when somebody invited me to their party I got really excited and when somebody let me down I could hardly keep from crying. It was like living really intensely, every little thing made me feel really happy or really upset and I remember myself saying 'Oh my God, I'm sick of getting so emotional all the time. I wish I did not care so much about everything!'. Well, now it's the other way around, I want to experience that feeling again, I want to get emotional about stupid stuff!
PS. Here you have a picture of NZ, so you can see how beautiful it is!
Last week I read my journal for the first time after I came back, more than a year later. Wow, I did not expect it, but it moved me to tears... Many things I thought I had forgotten came to my mind, all the good things: the trips, the ball, the fireworks, Christmas at the park, the last days in town, the weekend with Anita; and the bad things: how I missed a special person so bad, the uncomfortable relationship with Maija, the days when I was feeling down, saying good-bye to all those people who made my year... but also lots of small things I didn't remember: the play, the national anthem (I can still sing the lyrics), babysitting with Jordan and Riley, my first dream in English (it didn't make much sense, something about a kidnapped guy and his elbow being tied to a sleeping bag), the rugby match, the chess hours, my first good joke in English (this took a looong time), random conversations with people...
All these things were not written in the handbook AFS sent me before leaving. It just said some abstract stuff that I found really interesting then (about life in a farm, about life in town, about school and its subjects, how to behave with the family, the driving license, legal drinking, illegal sex, travelling with people over 21...) but was very general. I'm not saying it was not true, but I think what I saw was different from what the handbook had taught me. Haere Mai o Aotearoa -- Welcome to New Zealand-- was the only thing I remember stayed the same.
But what I really felt when I
was reading my diary was that I really lived the experience, everything seemed so important, when somebody invited me to their party I got really excited and when somebody let me down I could hardly keep from crying. It was like living really intensely, every little thing made me feel really happy or really upset and I remember myself saying 'Oh my God, I'm sick of getting so emotional all the time. I wish I did not care so much about everything!'. Well, now it's the other way around, I want to experience that feeling again, I want to get emotional about stupid stuff!PS. Here you have a picture of NZ, so you can see how beautiful it is!
dijous, 24 de desembre del 2009
Time to change
Today it's Christmas Eve. How nice. Everyone around the table eating a lot and pretending a lot too. Beautiful. But well, I do not want to talk about that, I want to talk about our dear king, Juan Carlos. Well, about monarchy in general. I watched his Merry Xmas message on TV. Yeah, he talked a lot actually, I listened to the whole message but I didn't get anything. Lots of talking and no meaning. I heard economical difficulty, army's great efforts, fight against terrorism, train of progress, new decade, democracy, development, but I didn't understand anything. Honestly, a five year-old with a dictionary could prepare his speech. (I'm sure that the boy would be able to vocalise better than him as well).
Anyway, what he says doesn't really matter, he is our king, you know, and nothing would be possible without him. Everyone is just so pleased about giving the royal family money. Buying ecological food is wasting money, not that.
What did he do to become our king? It was... yeah, he did do something, can't remember now... oh no, wait, I got it, it was licking Franco's ass!
Monarchy has always been unfair, it is based on inequality but Spanish monarchy is the most pathetic one. It all started when our dear king killed his brother to become the successor (his brother was far more clever than him and his father liked him better). Many years later, he became Franco's friend when he saw that Franco would probably found a monarchy system after his death. But despite this, he is a great person, he saved us from Tejero's coup. And that is why we love him so much. Royal family means tradition, we can't just kick them out from the country, can we? What would they do?
Come on, don't you think it's time to change yet?
Anyway, what he says doesn't really matter, he is our king, you know, and nothing would be possible without him. Everyone is just so pleased about giving the royal family money. Buying ecological food is wasting money, not that.
What did he do to become our king? It was... yeah, he did do something, can't remember now... oh no, wait, I got it, it was licking Franco's ass!
Monarchy has always been unfair, it is based on inequality but Spanish monarchy is the most pathetic one. It all started when our dear king killed his brother to become the successor (his brother was far more clever than him and his father liked him better). Many years later, he became Franco's friend when he saw that Franco would probably found a monarchy system after his death. But despite this, he is a great person, he saved us from Tejero's coup. And that is why we love him so much. Royal family means tradition, we can't just kick them out from the country, can we? What would they do?
Come on, don't you think it's time to change yet?
dimecres, 9 de desembre del 2009
Watching injustices
There are some people who just enjoy annoying other people. Honestly, like when your mum says, 'make your bed!' and you think, 'what business is it of yours?'. And she says I am your mum, I must teach you good manners and blah blah blah. That is a minor thing, but these things start to get annoying when they harm people, like the Catholic Church does.
They are bitter people, always complaining about what other people do. I believe they should live their life as they want, but leave the other people alone! How can they be against divorce or the use of condoms? If they think that is wrong, then do not do it, but do not tell us what to do and what to think. Besides, the reason they give to be against all these things is that they are 'unnatural'. Yeah, the same people who shut themselves into monasteries and who force themselves not to have sex (this part allows discussion) dare to say what is natural and what is not. And then they talk about family life (when they do not know what a family is) and are against abortion and preservatives, hurting thousands of people who are in difficult situations.
These people must enjoy annoying other people, because I do not get it otherwise. And well, Catholic Church believes all these things (although they make no sense) and their henchmen follow them and this is the story of how to manipulate an entire society and nobody condemns it. And everybody else looks favorably upon them... Upon the same people who support the idea of not using preservatives in Africa, where most of the population suffer from sexually transmitted diseases. Tradition is not always good, and it is time for us to distinguish between fair and unfair.
They are bitter people, always complaining about what other people do. I believe they should live their life as they want, but leave the other people alone! How can they be against divorce or the use of condoms? If they think that is wrong, then do not do it, but do not tell us what to do and what to think. Besides, the reason they give to be against all these things is that they are 'unnatural'. Yeah, the same people who shut themselves into monasteries and who force themselves not to have sex (this part allows discussion) dare to say what is natural and what is not. And then they talk about family life (when they do not know what a family is) and are against abortion and preservatives, hurting thousands of people who are in difficult situations.
These people must enjoy annoying other people, because I do not get it otherwise. And well, Catholic Church believes all these things (although they make no sense) and their henchmen follow them and this is the story of how to manipulate an entire society and nobody condemns it. And everybody else looks favorably upon them... Upon the same people who support the idea of not using preservatives in Africa, where most of the population suffer from sexually transmitted diseases. Tradition is not always good, and it is time for us to distinguish between fair and unfair.
dimarts, 24 de novembre del 2009
Lost
Yesterday, I remembered something that made me think. You know, sometimes someone says something to you and those words kind of thouch you and you remember them forever.
Well, I have a friend who once told me that curiosity is what keeps people alive, that people who do not feel curious about anything are empty inside. Life would be sad without it, with nothing that makes you want to keep living, she said. Sometimes these words come to my mind and I check my life (mentally) to see if I'm interested in something or not, just in case. In my life I have been interested (and by interested I mean that I felt motivated) in lots of things. And it is not that I can't find a reason to live any more or anything like that but I feel as if there was something missing, there is not anything that catches my attention in any special way and the more I think about it, the more worried I get about all this stuff. Where is my motivation?
Maybe it is because I have to decide what to do in my future, and I honestly have no idea or maybe it is because I'm going through a weird stage of life, meeting new people and missing the old ones. It does not mean that I'm not enjoying this period, cause I certainly am, but I feel completely lost. Once I felt that I really had found my way in life and I feel as if I had stopped for a while to enjoy the views and when I came back to the track, it was not there any more, it had vanished. I know I will not be able to find it again, so I am trying to find another one, but I have a feeling this time is going to be tougher, somehow I can tell. Maybe the other one was just a mirage, who knows.
I am sick of being worried about this stuff but I can't help it. It's as if my mind needed to know where I'm going next to keep working. This time, I do not know which one is the next step to take and there is no curiosity around me. What the fuck is going on?
Well, I have a friend who once told me that curiosity is what keeps people alive, that people who do not feel curious about anything are empty inside. Life would be sad without it, with nothing that makes you want to keep living, she said. Sometimes these words come to my mind and I check my life (mentally) to see if I'm interested in something or not, just in case. In my life I have been interested (and by interested I mean that I felt motivated) in lots of things. And it is not that I can't find a reason to live any more or anything like that but I feel as if there was something missing, there is not anything that catches my attention in any special way and the more I think about it, the more worried I get about all this stuff. Where is my motivation?
Maybe it is because I have to decide what to do in my future, and I honestly have no idea or maybe it is because I'm going through a weird stage of life, meeting new people and missing the old ones. It does not mean that I'm not enjoying this period, cause I certainly am, but I feel completely lost. Once I felt that I really had found my way in life and I feel as if I had stopped for a while to enjoy the views and when I came back to the track, it was not there any more, it had vanished. I know I will not be able to find it again, so I am trying to find another one, but I have a feeling this time is going to be tougher, somehow I can tell. Maybe the other one was just a mirage, who knows.
I am sick of being worried about this stuff but I can't help it. It's as if my mind needed to know where I'm going next to keep working. This time, I do not know which one is the next step to take and there is no curiosity around me. What the fuck is going on?
dijous, 19 de novembre del 2009
Prejudices
People say that the first impression is the most important one but this is not true at all. It happens to me constantly, you meet a person and you think that person and I will not get on, he or she looks so arrogant... And then you start to know them and find out that he or she is actually really nice! Well, it can happen the other way around too, you think they are really nice and they happen to be two-faced (I just learned this word :D)...
If you think about it, most of the time, people (and I'm including myself) judge other people just by their looks. Is there anything more stupid? We know that appearances tell nothing about a person but we still think- look at that guy there, the one wearing his pants so high, WHY is he wearing those pants? Doesn't he have a mirror? Doesn't he have friends who tell him that is ugly?? He must be a nerd with no friends-, and there it is, prejudice! The thing changes when we know the other person, though. Sometimes we find out that he's not what we thought but, why do we always have to talk without knowing? People (including myself again) tend to talk about everything, no matter what the conversation is all about, let's say we talk about technology development in Australia and we don't know anything about the subject, everyone will take part in the conversation anyway.
It's better to shut up than to talk without knowing, because that's when we realise that a person is an ignorant. As the saying goes, it's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than to open it and confirm it.
Well, what I just wanted to say is that sometimes we judge other people without knowing anything about them and that's a mistake, cause we wouldn't like other people talking about us the same way, so giving it a second thought is worth it. Prejudices never mean anything good, so try to make an effort and forget them!
If you think about it, most of the time, people (and I'm including myself) judge other people just by their looks. Is there anything more stupid? We know that appearances tell nothing about a person but we still think- look at that guy there, the one wearing his pants so high, WHY is he wearing those pants? Doesn't he have a mirror? Doesn't he have friends who tell him that is ugly?? He must be a nerd with no friends-, and there it is, prejudice! The thing changes when we know the other person, though. Sometimes we find out that he's not what we thought but, why do we always have to talk without knowing? People (including myself again) tend to talk about everything, no matter what the conversation is all about, let's say we talk about technology development in Australia and we don't know anything about the subject, everyone will take part in the conversation anyway.
It's better to shut up than to talk without knowing, because that's when we realise that a person is an ignorant. As the saying goes, it's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than to open it and confirm it.
Well, what I just wanted to say is that sometimes we judge other people without knowing anything about them and that's a mistake, cause we wouldn't like other people talking about us the same way, so giving it a second thought is worth it. Prejudices never mean anything good, so try to make an effort and forget them!
divendres, 13 de novembre del 2009
Junk TV
I was hoping for some inspiration to write a new post, and I just found it! It's not a fascinating subject, but hey, at least I know what to write about.
I usually don't watch TV cause programmes bore me, but yesterday, while we were having dinner, my mum was watching one of those horrible gossip programmes about famous people who had sex with (apparently) everyone on stage and felt the need to tell the world they had been sleeping with all those people. I was complaining but as we were having dinner, we all had to watch that shit.
And that's when I started thinking about the sad lives all those people must have, they need to go there to talk about their nasty private lives to feel important... But what really worries me is that those programmes always have the highest audience! How sad is that? I don't know if you (who am I talking to?) have ever watched one of those shows but they are awful, there's nothing worse than sitting in front of the TV watching some retarded people insulting each other. Usually, watching TV is a waste of time but in this case, it becomes a lot worse, that is throwing your life away hearing how some jerks yell at each other to get some attention. I don't know how people can enjoy that! Besides, what they say is not even interesting and, if arguing in the real life is unpleasant, watching all those people shouting is disgusting.
TV is supposed to be the society's reflection, and if this kind of television is our reflection, we are in big trouble.
I usually don't watch TV cause programmes bore me, but yesterday, while we were having dinner, my mum was watching one of those horrible gossip programmes about famous people who had sex with (apparently) everyone on stage and felt the need to tell the world they had been sleeping with all those people. I was complaining but as we were having dinner, we all had to watch that shit.
And that's when I started thinking about the sad lives all those people must have, they need to go there to talk about their nasty private lives to feel important... But what really worries me is that those programmes always have the highest audience! How sad is that? I don't know if you (who am I talking to?) have ever watched one of those shows but they are awful, there's nothing worse than sitting in front of the TV watching some retarded people insulting each other. Usually, watching TV is a waste of time but in this case, it becomes a lot worse, that is throwing your life away hearing how some jerks yell at each other to get some attention. I don't know how people can enjoy that! Besides, what they say is not even interesting and, if arguing in the real life is unpleasant, watching all those people shouting is disgusting.
TV is supposed to be the society's reflection, and if this kind of television is our reflection, we are in big trouble.
dilluns, 2 de novembre del 2009
Party!
Well, I do not really have anything interesting to talk about, but I have to write more than 4,000 words before January and I don't want to get all stressed out the week before, so here I am.
Last Friday it was my friend's birthday, so he organised a party at his premises. It had been so long since I hadn't been with all of my friends together (as we are studying different things, we don't get to see each other so much), so it was great. We were dressed up as the 80s and we spent there the whole night.
You know, the great thing about parties is not the party itself, it is that if you are feeling down, it makes you feel better and if you were already feeling good, you become euphoric! That's why when you are not going through the best moment of your life, you have to make an effort and smile, because life is made of details, little things that make it easier.
(I was just thinking I must sound like a psychiatrist or something like that, always talking about life and this kind of stuff... it's just that when I don't have anything to talk about, these things come to my mind).
Last Friday it was my friend's birthday, so he organised a party at his premises. It had been so long since I hadn't been with all of my friends together (as we are studying different things, we don't get to see each other so much), so it was great. We were dressed up as the 80s and we spent there the whole night.
You know, the great thing about parties is not the party itself, it is that if you are feeling down, it makes you feel better and if you were already feeling good, you become euphoric! That's why when you are not going through the best moment of your life, you have to make an effort and smile, because life is made of details, little things that make it easier.
(I was just thinking I must sound like a psychiatrist or something like that, always talking about life and this kind of stuff... it's just that when I don't have anything to talk about, these things come to my mind).
dimecres, 28 d’octubre del 2009
Complexes...
Yesterday something that made me think happened. It all started when I was talking about a TV show with some friends. We were talking about how good-looking and hot we thought the actors were. During the conversation, I realised that most of my friends have stupid complexes related to appearance, one of them almost burst into tears! I was so shocked, I didn't even know what to say! She is completely normal, in fact, I'd say she is hot!
I don't know why people are so obsessed with appearances, I mean, to take care of yourself is a good thing, but that was a bit over the top, especially cause she is not fat at all! Everyone should know that being 1.70 tall and weighing 50 kg is not healthy. Fuck the beauty standard! You have to learn to be happy the way you are and you have to love yourself, cause if you don't, who will? You know, complexes are all in your head and it's up to you if you want to live happily or to be always worried about the way you look. Come on, live is to be lived, there's no time to feel upset about this.
I don't know why people are so obsessed with appearances, I mean, to take care of yourself is a good thing, but that was a bit over the top, especially cause she is not fat at all! Everyone should know that being 1.70 tall and weighing 50 kg is not healthy. Fuck the beauty standard! You have to learn to be happy the way you are and you have to love yourself, cause if you don't, who will? You know, complexes are all in your head and it's up to you if you want to live happily or to be always worried about the way you look. Come on, live is to be lived, there's no time to feel upset about this.
dijous, 15 d’octubre del 2009
Things I'll never say
This has been going round and round in my head for a really long time. AFS was right, the experience was more about getting to know another culture than just learning another language.
While I was in NZ, I used to stay up until 11pm cause I couldn't sleep. By then, my dad was the only person awake in the house, and we used watch TV and talk until I decided it was getting late (he'd never go to sleep before midnight). Most of the times we didn't talk about anything important, but sometimes the conversation turned out to be really interesting. Now that I'm here, I remember those little chats with affection. He was a person who I secretly admire and I deeply regret not having told him. His way of thinking was so different to mine that I didn't understand it at all (at the beginning): he chose to live on a farm, to raise his kids in town, to marry his first girlfriend... Things I'd never do.
But little by little, I started to know my family and their way of thinking and eventhough sometimes I didn't agree with them, I started to understand them. And I started to love them. I loved the way they were happy if it was sunny, or the way they had fun watching the fireworks, or feeding the calves, or having a barbecue. As simple as this.
And now that I'm here, I regret not having shown them how important they were to me, I wonder why I didn't tell them all this stuff, I guess I didn't realise until some months ago. Anyway, these are things I'll never say.
While I was in NZ, I used to stay up until 11pm cause I couldn't sleep. By then, my dad was the only person awake in the house, and we used watch TV and talk until I decided it was getting late (he'd never go to sleep before midnight). Most of the times we didn't talk about anything important, but sometimes the conversation turned out to be really interesting. Now that I'm here, I remember those little chats with affection. He was a person who I secretly admire and I deeply regret not having told him. His way of thinking was so different to mine that I didn't understand it at all (at the beginning): he chose to live on a farm, to raise his kids in town, to marry his first girlfriend... Things I'd never do.
But little by little, I started to know my family and their way of thinking and eventhough sometimes I didn't agree with them, I started to understand them. And I started to love them. I loved the way they were happy if it was sunny, or the way they had fun watching the fireworks, or feeding the calves, or having a barbecue. As simple as this.
And now that I'm here, I regret not having shown them how important they were to me, I wonder why I didn't tell them all this stuff, I guess I didn't realise until some months ago. Anyway, these are things I'll never say.
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